Conflicts In Bands: Solving Your Disagreements
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Conflicts happen. They’re completely normal. Especially when you are with someone almost all the time, or you work together on something. Music is art, and art is a very subjective experience with peculiar manners we perform to deliver it to a more objective space. There are countless and countless of reasons that can put you in a conflict with your bandmates. Why? Well, because you’re human.
In those moments of affection, we can say or do a lot of things we don’t mean. This can forever damage your creative process and do some damage you can’t repair. That would be very immature. You should expect conflicts to occur, the more you work, the bigger the chance. You should know how to properly handle them, so your band’s work won’t suffer. Conflicts are a well known breaker of many successful bands, and you don’t want the same thing happening, do you? Here’s how to handle them:
No matter what the situation, you should always try and solve things the calm way. Yelling, fighting and throwing things, picking on one another won’t really make the situation any better. So keep your voices down and sit down to discuss. If things are too much in the heat, you can always take a break, recollect and think it through before you confront one another. And when you do…
Use your words carefully
Yes, yes, we all have at least one situation we will always hold a grudge for when it comes to another band member. It happens. You think they messed something up and deep in your heart you just never let go of it. This is not the moment to throw this at them. If you have something to say, keep to things that involve the situation you are trying to solve. Don’t create even more conflicts by picking on old wounds.
Hear everyone out
Just because someone’s opinion is different, doesn’t mean they are wrong. So hear them out before you jump into conclusions, and think about it. They might be right. Maybe not completely right, but they still might have a point. Be respectful and give everyone the space to state their opinion.
Don’t let the conflicts take control over the situation
It is soooo easy to let this happen. You get fired up, the situation heats, everyone loses their patience and boom. That’s how you don’t do things. Acknowledge that there’s a problem that you need to solve, and don’t do what you are urged to do the second you get frustrated. You know better than that.
Don’t let the ego take over either
All of us can get a little butthurt during conflicts. But should we always address it? Nope. Why? Because honestly, sometimes it’s not even that big of a deal. Think twice before you add gas to the fire. Everything can be solved with a nice conversation. Even your hurt ego. There’s words that can express that frustration as well. Don’t forget that.
Find a middle ground
Once you hear everyone out, don’t only think about the things you disagree on, but, also, on things that you agree on. Try to come to a solution that hits close to everyone’s personal idea. Compromise. This already means all of you have to let go of a portion from your own dish, but it is honestly the best move in situations like these.
Remember why you got together in the first place
It was the same love and the same passion that brought you together in this. You all want the best for your band. Think about the achievements and the good stuff.
Communication is key.